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1/30/12

“darling I like the way you look stunning sexy hot nice. well you are certainly looks good from the outside but I wonder how beautiful is your inside really and truly is darling,…I’m who you’ve been looking for! baby look at those sexy eyes It’s like they’re talking to me. but what are they saying I don’t know, but whatever it is, it’s by far the most fascinating eyes I ever seeing in my life, look I’m convince! tell me more! baby anyone who kisses you is in for a long, intense ride. you seem like a very infatuate kind of woman to be with you be my desire, I will be your delight I adore the way you look, you are ABSOLUTE BEAUTY… stunning eyes and an amazing gorgeous smile wow… you have got a very mysterious look about you haven’t you; I would love to see you up close and personal. “

  • I find this message HORRIFYING.  Not only does this guy not appear to have a clear grasp of the English language but he called me darling how many times?  My profile also mentions that I will not respond to anyone who calls me sexy, etc. as an introduction.  I’m not interested in shallow men who didn’t even take the time to read my profile and learn anything about me.  As if that weren’t bad enough…he wants to see me up close and personal????  I have visions of the guy in Silence of the Lambs, skinning women for his, literal, body suit.  NEXT!!!!

you are gorgous and beautiful how are u single u have a smile that can light up a room would treat u like a queen 

  •  Why are people too lazy to capitalize or write out the word “you” instead of the letter “u”?  Again, this guy clearly hasn’t read my profile.  NEXT!

hello gorgeous!

I like your profile and would like to get to know you better 😉

xoxo

  • Hello, but you clearly haven’t actually READ my profile or you would know I’m not going to respond to this.  And xoxo?????  You don’t even know my real name!  NEXT!

1/13/2012 9:01:14 AM

Wifey were have you been .Finally i found you …

What are the 3 digits on the back of your debit card???

hello sweetie, how are you? I see you ain’t scared of heights… lol.. love that brooklyn bridge pic of you.. looking flawless…

if hearts could beat based on beauty my heart would last a lifetime looking at you

  • Ummmm what?????? NEXT!

sweety, (most girls like this greeting) 

congratulations, you have won the —- lottery by having the pleasure of receiving a message from me. this site says that you and i would be compatible friends and since that’s what i’m looking for, i figured i should trust the —- powers within (and algorithms.) 

feel free to include this message in your blog but since that’s where it may end up, i won’t go overboard and say anything incriminating or illegal. i even removed the shirtless photo of myself before contacting you; i respect my friends! your name is —- and i’m a firm believer of “muphry’s law” (note the spelling difference.) if you aren’t aware of murphyry’s law, it is an adage that states that “if you write anything criticizing editing or proofreading, there will be a fault of some kind in what you have written”. The name is a deliberate misspelling of Murphy’s law. (wikipedia) 

if you review my profile, you will understand exactly how this fits the context. the irony between your user name and the way that muphry’s law has a hold on my life make our friendship so perfect. 

so, now that we are best friends, what would you like to do? 

your bff

  •  Obviously read some of my profile to know I write a blog, but not enough to realize I do not want to be called “sweetie”.  Most women like this greeting??? Who are these women???  I want their rights to procreate revoked.  Again with the lack of capitalization.  It drives me nuts!  And, while I respect that he removed the shirtless photo of himself before contacting me, which means he did notice something on my profile about what I’m NOT interested in, he clearly had shirtless mirror photos of himself up at some point.  UGH!  NEXT!!!!!

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