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Dating, Love, Relationships, Romance, Sex, Uncategorized

RSVP “No” to Misery

Relationships are about being supportive. In an ideal world, they’re also about understanding one another and being on the same page. To be fair, we don’t live in a perfect world and, sometimes, we don’t even come close to understanding each other. Sometimes, it’s like we’re speaking different languages. Despite this, when we’ve found someone who’s willing to go the distance for us, they’re supportive even if they think we’re speaking in tongues. In the best of circumstances, they even manage to understand us when we’re speaking in tongues. Ah, love.

They say that misery loves company. Through writing a blog about dating and relationships, this is a theory I seem to have researched (and proven) without meaning to. When I was single and writing about bad dates, break-ups, insecurities and the creepers I was meeting while looking for love, the outpouring of support and understanding from readers was almost immeasurable. Everyone could relate to the need for a stiff drink with the girls after having dinner with a guy who was unemployed, lived at home with his mom and dad and played video games like he was 15. There was no end to the amount of people who wanted to be on the list of letting me know that “you’ll find someone”; “it’ll happen when you least expect it”; “don’t give up hope”. Until I did. Found someone that is, not giving up hope.

In my guesstimate, it only took me approximately 16 years to find someone who makes me feel completely comfortable being myself, even on my craziest day. And now that I’m happy, it seems my “company” has changed. Now, most of the comments my posts get are about moving too fast or about how this one’s going to leave me, too, etc, etc. The great thing about running my own blog is that I get to choose which comments actually make it to the post. And I’m highly amused by the people who email to ask why I “deleted” their comment, since they don’t seem to get that every comment has to be approved first. What’s even better is that I can actually send comments from specific users or email addresses to spam so that even I never see the negativity and nastiness. Misery may love company but I’ll be RSVP’ing “no” to that party. Sorry, misery.

What is it about people that we have such a hard time being happy for one another? Even when we watch our friends get married or have children, we’re often struck with thoughts of “why them and not me?” I am also guilty as charged. But I certainly don’t share those thoughts, when I do have them, with the person or people who are experiencing happiness in their lives. I will never actually understand why people want to bring other’s down and why some people are cruel to other’s for sheer entertainment.

I actually mentioned a few weeks ago to CC that I felt the blog wasn’t as successful now as it was when I was single. People don’t want to read about someone who’s happy in love. Misery and tragedy sell, just look at the stories that make it to the news. In true supportive fashion, CC said “so make stuff up.” A man who’s offering to have me lie about our relationship and paint him in a negative light just to support my writing? Now that’s love! And a keeper. And I couldn’t care less what anyone else has to say about it. The Debbie Downer’s can try as they will to spread their misery but this is one girl who isn’t biting.

The great thing about the spread of blogs, Twitter, Pinterest, etc. etc. is that, if you don’t like someone’s writing or point of view, there are plenty of other options out there. To all of the haters, I have this to say: you can try to rain on my parade all you’d like, I have an umbrella. A pretty one. Besides, my first kiss with CC was in the rain. I don’t mind a little water. If you don’t like me or what I have to say, that’s okay. Everyone’s entitled to their own opinions. So move on, find something you do like, something that makes you happy. Life is way too short to spend on things that make you anything but happy. And bringing other’s down will NEVER bring you the happiness you desire. And deserve. We all deserve to be happy. And I truly hope that everyone finds the happiness that I finally have.

To the man who is willing to allow me to make him look like an ass just to support my success, the man who brings me soup, fruit and OJ when I’m sick, who surprises me with flowers when I’ve had a rough day and who understands my constant need for control, who melts me with one gentle kiss to the forehead: I love you.

* For more on “Debbie Downers”, click here.

“You’re persecuting me, showing hypocrisy I have a remedy for your insecurity…Let your light shine through me Take this hate I can’t release Help me make the blind see Misery loves its company” ~ Misery Loves Its Company, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

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About Murphy's Law

You know that cliche that whatever can go wrong will go wrong? Can you think of anywhere else this holds more true than in the dating world? Ever had to change your phone number because someone sent you 150 texts in one day? Or go on a first date with someone you met online, only to find out that there's a reason he was holding his niece in front of half of his face in all of his pictures? Or take you to dinner only to have his ex-girlfriend as your waitress? Yes, the dating world is scary. But the good news is, you're not alone!

Discussion

3 thoughts on “RSVP “No” to Misery

  1. Great post! Thank you not for just calling out and exploring a bit the ‘misery loves company’ phenomenon but for doing so with positivity. Everyone is entitled to their own thoughts and opinions (don’t we just love free will) but just because we may have a different thought/opinion doesn’t mean it’s the right one for the other person (as much as we sometimes are SO SURE it is). Every human is different, so every human needs different things and takes their own path – just because they are not on your path doesn’t make it the wrong one. Thank you for always being you and I am SO FREAKIN’ EXCITED for you and CC – you both deserve happiness and I am so glad you found it together šŸ™‚

    Posted by Tamara | July 25, 2012, 9:25 AM
  2. Well said and I’m truly happy you have found love. Some people are so unhappy with themselves they can’t find it in their hearts to be happy for another…maybe they just want what the happy ones have…yep, but they shouldn’t hate, but they do and that’s a shame…doesn’t it take less muscle to smile than to frown?

    Posted by lawlee3 | July 23, 2012, 4:51 PM
  3. WOW. I love this post. Let me start by saying I am so happy you are happy. Though we never actually met, you weathered the “oh my boyfriend didn’t actually move to London and just dumped me” storm, and no that’s not the only reason why you deserve happiness, but it definitely speaks volumes about your character.

    As far as the misery loving company via blog post, I noticed it myself and find it to be a little insane. A few months ago, I decided to “discontinue” becausedatingsucks.com as the result of my commitment to stop spreading negativity, albeit funny, but negativity none the less. Glad you are doing the same in a little different way….. hehe.

    And just tell all the assholes who went from encouraging you to annoying you to (insert activity of choice). They should be happy your story is progressing, even if only for entertainment value.

    glad to hear all is well on the east coast.. for some…

    Posted by jessicawachtel | July 22, 2012, 3:16 PM

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