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Dating, Love, Relationships, Romance, Sex, Uncategorized

A Woman Scorned

I was minding my own business, killing time on Facebook, looking back at old photos I had uploaded.  And, there it was: the comment on one of the photos that would lead me to the information that my ex was now married.  It’s like the six degrees of separation of Facebook;

  1. I uploaded a picture
  2. His sister commented on it three years ago
  3. I see it again now
  4. I click on it and get taken to her page
  5. On her page is the “People she’s friend’s with”
  6. Where I see the profile pic of my ex’s new gf…excuse me…wife.  From their wedding.

The dangers of being on the internet.

Despite the fact that I am now in a happy and healthy relationship and I know that I am better off without Ex, I can’t help but catch my breath at this news.  From talking to friends, it seems I’m not the only one and that this reaction is pretty normal.  What is it about women that we are so affected by people we can’t stand anymore getting married to someone else???

Ex treated me badly; he had/has a drug problem; he’s quite possibly clinically insane.  And I don’t say these things because I dislike him now.  In fact, despite all of these facts, despite all of the horrible things Ex had said and done to me, I was recently still there for him when he needed advice or someone to talk to during his low moments.  Yes, I’m a sucker.  Or a good person.  However you want to look at it.  But, the facts remain that Ex comes with constant drama, insecurity and instability.

Still, Ex and I had been engaged at one point.  We had talked about and started to plan a future together.  And it blew up like an atom bomb.  And now, three short years later and two short relationships later on his end, he’s married to one of them.  He pledged his undying love and devotion to someone, something he couldn’t follow through with and do for me.  Despite the fact that I know I am better off and I am so thankful for what I have now, I can’t help but be bitter at this news and think “What’s she have that I don’t?”  This is why men think all women are crazy.  I don’t want him.  But I don’t want him to be happy either.

Truth be told, I don’t think he is.  I don’t think he has the capacity to love unselfishly and to truly let go and be happy.  But I suppose, a part of me wanted him to be alone and miserable for the rest of his life.  Well, I suppose one out of two ain’t bad.

“These are the words of a woman scorned Hell hath no fury and I still feel burned If time is a healer then give me a day”  ~ Woman Scorned,  Saint Saviour

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About Murphy's Law

You know that cliche that whatever can go wrong will go wrong? Can you think of anywhere else this holds more true than in the dating world? Ever had to change your phone number because someone sent you 150 texts in one day? Or go on a first date with someone you met online, only to find out that there's a reason he was holding his niece in front of half of his face in all of his pictures? Or take you to dinner only to have his ex-girlfriend as your waitress? Yes, the dating world is scary. But the good news is, you're not alone!

Discussion

7 thoughts on “A Woman Scorned

  1. I know that feeling all too well and I think no matter how much we have moved on that person left a kind of..tattoo of something you once had together…when things were at their best

    Posted by Lawlee3 | June 17, 2012, 10:42 AM
  2. Thanks for putting that bet in writing, “Sally”. We’ll be able to use that money to put towards our honeymoon. Sweet!!!

    Posted by Murphy's Law | June 17, 2012, 10:15 AM
  3. ‎”I don’t want him. But I don’t want him to be happy either.” yeah… that’s classic 😉 I think that happens with many people.
    Here’s a story:
    The day a guy and an ex broke up, she sends him an email jokingly saying that she hoped he didn’t meet any interesting or beautiful women at an event he was attending that night. Then she sent him a message saying sorry, she couldn’t help herself. Regardless of why they broke up, he really didn’t appreciate it. A few sentences spoke volumes about things and changed a lot of things. A lot.

    Posted by Vince | June 17, 2012, 10:00 AM
    • Thanks for reading, Vince!!! In addition to needing cell phones that won’t let us text/call when drunk, they should ask us a series of questions about whether we are bitter, scorned, angry or otherwise irrational LOL

      Posted by Murphy's Law | June 17, 2012, 10:14 AM
  4. Why would you care? Wouldnt cc be upset that you are so upset when you are allegedly happy with him and to post it on the internet to boot. I think that you are the reason nice guys turn into a—–. You like the drama and attention and will probably lose this nice guy because of it and then he will turn into an a—- like the rest of them. You would freak if he was doing the same thing freaking over a ex. You would be like why do you care if you are happy with me.

    Posted by sally | June 17, 2012, 9:42 AM
    • Wow, I’m single handedly responsible for men being jerks??? That’s a lot of credit to give to one woman. Actually, among many other things, what I like about my current relationship with CC is the lack of drama. It’s the major reason Ex and I never got married and are no longer together. It was exhausting and stressful. Your snap judgement couldn’t be more off. And CC is amazing. He understands, he doesn’t judge. I’m not “so upset” over the Ex getting married, but it is something that surprised me and, yes, it did affect me somewhat. And, it seems, it’s a pretty common reaction. Ever see When Harry met Sally??? The thing is, there are things that took place during my relationship with Ex, like a pregnancy, a miscarriage, deployment to Iraq. It’s not just a past relationship, it’s a past relationship that forever changed me and will be with me forever based on that miscarriage. That’s something that you don’t just forget. And I am absolutely the luckiest woman in the world for having a man in my life now who supports me, who understands all I’ve been through and loves me for being strong enough to overcome it all. As for me freaking if the tables were turned? Not at all. We’ve talked about the Ex that he lived with and why that relationship didn’t work out for him. We communicate and support each other, and that includes our pasts. Because our pasts are what made us the people we are today, the people we love so much. As for losing this nice guy? I’ll be sure to send you an invite to the wedding.

      Posted by Murphy's Law | June 17, 2012, 9:55 AM

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