Recently, I asked CC if he murdered his previous girlfriends and buried them in his backyard. Not that I really have any legitimate reason to think he’s an ax-murderer. The only time I’ve even seen him get angry is when he was drunk and still, he had a valid reason to be. It’s just that I don’t understand how he was single before he met me. He’s kind, generous, ambitious and patient. He has a good day job and a business that’s starting to take off. And on top of it all, he finds my craziness to be adorable.
Clearly, I know that not everyone over thirty who’s still single has something wrong with them. Based on my track record though, the odds are pretty much stacked against normalcy. Obviously, I fall into that category. But I know why I’m sill single. And I’m pretty open about it. Hell, I write a blog about my emotional luggage. But we all know that not everyone puts it all out there like that. Whether we refer to it as baggage or skeletons, we all have something in our closets. Wouldn’t it be nice to know what’s hiding, tucked away, in the back of someone else’s before investing too much time?
It would’ve been nice to know that Doc just wanted to play video games and wasn’t going to marry me. Or that Army Boy was batshit crazy. I believe that to be the clinical term. It may seem funny that it took me so long to figure these things out but, let’s be honest, most people don’t wear their crazy on their sleeves.
The rules, those pesky rules I never agree with, say that we’re not supposed to talk about our relationships. But isn’t finding out why other relationships failed an important part of knowing if the current one stands a chance? When most of what’s left on the dating shelf turns out to be moldy and past its expiration date, we’re naturally suspicious of the nice, fresh piece of meat that stands alone. So how do we go about getting answers?
I had a friend who dug through her boyfriend’s financial papers the first time he left her alone in his house. I called her crazy. But at least she knew where she stood if they got married and became financially entwined. Which they now are so maybe there’s something to being crazy after all! We’ve all gone through someone’s medicine cabinet or nightstand drawer behind their backs. But emotional digging isn’t as easy to do undetected. So do we come right out and ask? And if so, are we prepared for the answers? I find it highly unlikely that anyone is going to admit that yes, they did murder their past girlfriends and bury them in the backyard. I guess I can only hope that if that were true, his dog would’ve turned up the evidence already.
“There’s a room inside your gut Close the door and keep it shut Let no daylight enter in…Who are you now to decide Whether or not I can Be exposed to what you hide…But every wrong turn that you make will also be my mistake Cos we’re connected through our hearts” ~ Secrets, Maria Mena