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Dating, Love, Relationships, Romance, Sex, Uncategorized

Living Out Loud

Let me start off by saying that, so far, this blog has been an amazing experience.  There are so many pros to writing about relationships and to “living life out loud.”  For starters, the feedback certainly helps to boost my ego!  More than that though, it’s a way of knowing that I’m not alone; that even those who have found their happily-ever-after can relate and that, maybe, talking about my experiences helps someone else out there when they are ready to throw in the towel.  I figure if I can keep going, anyone can!  Getting everything down on “paper” also helps me to sort through all the mumbo-jumbo in my head and figure out what I’m really feeling or really want in whatever that week’s situation is!

What about the cons though?  When you write a blog about relationships, it can actually get in the way of you having them.  If I had a nickel for every time a guy I went out with said “Please don’t write about me in your blog”, I’d have…well it’s been a slow month.

The days where its typical to date only one person at a time are so fifty years ago.  Truthfully, most of us double dip; we keep our options open until we’re convinced that one of those options might actually go somewhere.  Maybe we just don’t want to waste our time on the wrong people or maybe we all just have ADD because of the constant stimulation of smart phones, DVR’s, laptop’s.  Hey, even my GPS talks to me…and has a name.  Anyone who’s able to give their attention to just one person deserves a medal at this point.  To be fair though, most of us don’t talk about the people we’re “seeing” to the other people we’re “seeing”.  That conversation about being exclusive to each other?  It’s hands down one of the most awkward conversations ever.  Unless of course, you write about your dates in a blog where anyone in the world can read them.  Forget mystery, it’s all out there.  So, what’s a girl to do?

When you do find someone you could see yourself just standing still with, that someone who keeps you on your toes, who’s there for you when you need them most and leaves you without words (as a writer, that’s not an easy task!), playing “the game” becomes next to impossible.  Let’s be honest, when you meet someone who makes you giddy inside, you want to shout it from the rooftops, tell everyone you know.  Now imagine being someone who writes about relationships and trying to keep that to yourself!  All the rules say we’re supposed to play coy; we’re not supposed to let them know how we feel too soon or we’ll scare them off.  Of course, there’s always the possibility that the hypothetical “he” wouldn’t be reading but if he wasn’t, he wouldn’t be the man for me then, would he?  Who wants to be with someone who finds them irrelevant?  And if he does get scared off, it’s not like we have those “options” to fall back on.  They’ve all been reading about the guy who makes us feel all bubbly inside.  And it wasn’t them.

So, how does a girl get out there, get to know potential Prince Charmings, write about it all and not have it get in the way of finding the right one?  There are enough challenges in the dating world without adding one more.  I will never stop believing that we should all find someone who accepts us and loves us for who we are, flaws, annoying habits and all.  Maybe this blog is my way of weeding out someone who is strong enough to deal with me.  Or maybe I’m shooting myself in the foot.  I suppose only time will tell.  (Your feedback and suggestions are welcome, as always!)

“I’m tugging at my hair I’m pulling at my clothes I’m trying to keep my cool I know it shows I’m staring at my feet My cheeks are turning red I’m trying to find the words inside my head I’m feeling nervous Trying to be so perfect Cause I know you’re worth it You’re worth it…Yea I’m wishing my life away With these things I’ll never say”  Avril Lavigne, Things I’ll Never Say

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About Murphy's Law

You know that cliche that whatever can go wrong will go wrong? Can you think of anywhere else this holds more true than in the dating world? Ever had to change your phone number because someone sent you 150 texts in one day? Or go on a first date with someone you met online, only to find out that there's a reason he was holding his niece in front of half of his face in all of his pictures? Or take you to dinner only to have his ex-girlfriend as your waitress? Yes, the dating world is scary. But the good news is, you're not alone!

Discussion

6 thoughts on “Living Out Loud

  1. I agree “Murphy”. (That raises a question: Do we know who you are? Or, did I just stumble across your blog?) I, too, enjoyed the simpler days of no cell phones, Internet, Cable TV, etc. better in many ways. I thought technology was going to make life easier, simpler. Seems we’re all too busy these days, mostly with nonsense and things that don’t really matter. I look forward to your story on that.

    Posted by Anonymous | November 8, 2011, 11:05 AM
    • Oops…guess I should have looked around the site more : )

      Posted by Anonymous | November 8, 2011, 11:24 AM
      • I want to ask you about something that happened to me recently to get your opinion.

        There is this girl at my coop I see occasionally…only a few times during the past year. She is probably a bit younger than me. I think she only visits here to see her boyfriend. Well, I said hello to her one time just about a year ago. She said hello in return. Since then we’ve crossed paths in the parking lot a few times, but I never said hello again and neither did she.

        This past Sunday, I was leaving and while I was getting into my car, I noticed her standing on the walkway. She noticed me. No words were exchanged. A moment later, two of her friends came out of the apartment. The girl started walking the other way but then turned a bit and stopped in direct line to me. She then stared straight at me and pointed to me while talking with her friends, who also turned and looked straight at me. It seemed very strange, but I was ready to leave, so I did. I have been wondering about it. What do you make of it?

        Posted by Anonymous | November 12, 2011, 9:36 AM
      • I think if she has a boyfriend, you should let it go 🙂

        Posted by Murphy's Law | November 16, 2011, 6:48 PM
  2. Perhaps they were on to something fifty years ago; dating seemed more meaningful then. As we know, today, separation and divorce are the rule not the exception, and one can argue that the ‘double dip’ policy of dating may be helping to create that rule, in that one gets accustomed to ‘drop and move on’; that there is something else better, especially when things aren’t going perfectly. One can wonder, then: How many ‘double dippers’ are just ‘playing the field’? Are they really ready for finding the ‘right one’? Or, is it just a way to stroke their own egos? Perhaps it’s more just to make themselves feel liked or feel attractive. With this approach, it’s possible not to notice Prince Charming, or that Prince Charming could be standing in the background watching and perhaps decide to walk the other way.

    Posted by Anonymous | November 8, 2011, 5:36 AM
    • I agree “George”. I’m not a fan of juggling dates myself..too much work lol. But is it possible that while I was giving the wrong guy a chance to see things go nowhere, I missed out on the right guy and I could have my apartment in the city with Prince Charming and our beautiful kids right now? Who knows. But I do think we don’t pay anywhere near enough attention to the people in our lives and don’t treat them as well as we should. We take people for granted and just don’t put the effort in anymore. As far as the divorce rate, I blame a lot of that on technology. We’re busy with video games, DVR, Facebook, Words with Friends, etc. And the ability to cheat? Technology makes that easier, too. I’d be happy to go back to the days of no cell phones where you give 100% of your attention to the person(s) you’re with and kids played real football in the fall leaves outside instead of playing football on xbox with headsets while not even in the same room. But that’s a story for another time 🙂

      Posted by Murphy's Law | November 8, 2011, 8:32 AM

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