Let me start off by saying that, so far, this blog has been an amazing experience. There are so many pros to writing about relationships and to “living life out loud.” For starters, the feedback certainly helps to boost my ego! More than that though, it’s a way of knowing that I’m not alone; that even those who have found their happily-ever-after can relate and that, maybe, talking about my experiences helps someone else out there when they are ready to throw in the towel. I figure if I can keep going, anyone can! Getting everything down on “paper” also helps me to sort through all the mumbo-jumbo in my head and figure out what I’m really feeling or really want in whatever that week’s situation is!
What about the cons though? When you write a blog about relationships, it can actually get in the way of you having them. If I had a nickel for every time a guy I went out with said “Please don’t write about me in your blog”, I’d have…well it’s been a slow month.
The days where its typical to date only one person at a time are so fifty years ago. Truthfully, most of us double dip; we keep our options open until we’re convinced that one of those options might actually go somewhere. Maybe we just don’t want to waste our time on the wrong people or maybe we all just have ADD because of the constant stimulation of smart phones, DVR’s, laptop’s. Hey, even my GPS talks to me…and has a name. Anyone who’s able to give their attention to just one person deserves a medal at this point. To be fair though, most of us don’t talk about the people we’re “seeing” to the other people we’re “seeing”. That conversation about being exclusive to each other? It’s hands down one of the most awkward conversations ever. Unless of course, you write about your dates in a blog where anyone in the world can read them. Forget mystery, it’s all out there. So, what’s a girl to do?
When you do find someone you could see yourself just standing still with, that someone who keeps you on your toes, who’s there for you when you need them most and leaves you without words (as a writer, that’s not an easy task!), playing “the game” becomes next to impossible. Let’s be honest, when you meet someone who makes you giddy inside, you want to shout it from the rooftops, tell everyone you know. Now imagine being someone who writes about relationships and trying to keep that to yourself! All the rules say we’re supposed to play coy; we’re not supposed to let them know how we feel too soon or we’ll scare them off. Of course, there’s always the possibility that the hypothetical “he” wouldn’t be reading but if he wasn’t, he wouldn’t be the man for me then, would he? Who wants to be with someone who finds them irrelevant? And if he does get scared off, it’s not like we have those “options” to fall back on. They’ve all been reading about the guy who makes us feel all bubbly inside. And it wasn’t them.
So, how does a girl get out there, get to know potential Prince Charmings, write about it all and not have it get in the way of finding the right one? There are enough challenges in the dating world without adding one more. I will never stop believing that we should all find someone who accepts us and loves us for who we are, flaws, annoying habits and all. Maybe this blog is my way of weeding out someone who is strong enough to deal with me. Or maybe I’m shooting myself in the foot. I suppose only time will tell. (Your feedback and suggestions are welcome, as always!)
“I’m tugging at my hair I’m pulling at my clothes I’m trying to keep my cool I know it shows I’m staring at my feet My cheeks are turning red I’m trying to find the words inside my head I’m feeling nervous Trying to be so perfect Cause I know you’re worth it You’re worth it…Yea I’m wishing my life away With these things I’ll never say” Avril Lavigne, Things I’ll Never Say