There was an episode of Friends where Phoebe talked about lobsters. Yes, lobsters. It went something like this: “It’s a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You know what? You can actually see old lobster couples walkin’ around their tank, you know, holding claws.” Sure, it takes some of us longer to find our “lobsters” than others, but they are out there, somewhere. A friend of mine always says “There is a butt for every seat”. Although she doesn’t say butt. The point remains the same though that there is someone out there for everyone, no matter how quirky or downright freaky we might be. And that someone will hold our claws for the rest of our lives.
No matter how confident some people may come off, or how disinterested in commitment they may seem, most of us all want the same thing in the end; we all want someone to love us, unconditionally. It’s human nature, after all. And lobster nature, and apes and, well, you get the point. We are programmed to want someone to hold hands with, share a meal with, open presents underneath the Christmas Tree together. We certainly make the best of our single lives by vacationing with friends, hitting the bars/clubs for Mr or Ms. Right Now and telling everyone who will listen that we aren’t ready to settle down anyway. Until that drunken night where we’re feeling lonely and finally admit that we’re no different from everyone else.
There are a lot of different theories on love. Some people say that when you meet “the one you just know.” Sure, in an ideal world. Maybe I’ve become cynical but I don’t believe that love is that easy. Sometimes we meet “the one” and they are with someone else already. Or the timing is off. Maybe we just aren’t at a point in our lives yet where we are ready to let “the one” in. I do believe that, at some point, this person changes our lives in unbelievable ways, ways we could never imagine, it just may take some time.
As I write this, I am getting ready to attend the wedding of one of my dearest friends in the world. We met six years ago while she was hitting on my boyfriend right in front of me. Despite that initial bumpy start, we were instant friends and she is, without a doubt, someone who has unmistakably changed my life in so many ways. She is a beautiful woman, inside and out. She is kind, thoughtful, generous and has an unfailing ability to laugh at herself and genuinely enjoy life (despite her constant bitching about everything!) I can honestly say, though, that I didn’t know if I would ever see her walking down an aisle. She was a party girl, my partner in crime. She can be impulsive and stick her foot in her mouth often. And settling down? That was something for old people. Well, today I will watch her, as beautiful as ever, walk down that aisle, with a tear in her eye, to the man who will pledge to love her forever. A man who has accepted her, unconditionally, for all of her quirks, flaws and craziness. And he loves her because of it all. And when they are old and gray, they will be seen walking around, holding each other’s claws.
To Matt and Karen, congratulations on a beautiful day and the start of a beautiful life. And on finding your very own lobsters.