8 Things Guys Notice About You Instantly. 10 Things That Make a Woman Undateable. The Walk That Drives Men Wild. These are headlines in some of the most highly circulated women’s magazines in the nation right now. The media bombards women on a daily basis with advertisements, self-help books, magazines and more, constantly telling us that if we get a certain haircut, dye our hair a certain color, change our wardrobe or learn more about football that we will suddenly find the perfect man who will treat us like the queen that we are. He will never stray and he will buy us the perfect house with a white picket fence and immediately want to pop out 2.5 kids. Seriously?
Men are constantly complaining that they can’t figure women out. Should this be a surprise to anyone if women are all walking around with multiple personalities? There’s the “media-us”; the perfectly put together woman with perfectly cut and dyed hair, the “right” clothes, who knows when to cheer during the game and keeps a jersey in the back of her closet for Sunday Funday. Despite the fact that she despises football and would rather be watching 27 Dresses for the hundredth time. She doesn’t dwell on why he hasn’t called and she doesn’t spend hours (okay, days) analyzing something he said and “OMG, what does it mean???”
Then there’s the “real-us”; the woman who just wants to lounge around in her favorite, worn out sweatpants, whose hair never looks right (no matter how hard she tries). When she’s into someone, she checks her cell phone every ten minutes to make sure it didn’t turn itself off or maybe it rang and she just didn’t hear it! She has spent countless hours with her friends trying to figure out what it means when he texts “Hey.” She is a little neurotic with a possible jealous streak (that she will always deny). She has some major quirks, too. Maybe she snorts when she laughs or gets too drunk and loud when she drinks. And she loves The Devil Wears Prada.
How are men supposed to ever figure us out when we are listening to the media and trying to be someone we’re not? Maybe men do want these perfect women that the media boasts but, guys, I’ve got news for you: she doesn’t really exist. We try to be these women because we’re tired of being alone and lonely and we think if we’re still single, there must be something wrong with us, right? So if we make all of these changes, everything will just fall into place. Except that, underneath it all, we are still the same person and, eventually, that side is going to come out and our guy is going to wonder: who is this girl??? It’s no wonder half of all marriages end in divorce. We’re sending our representatives up to the altar. The real us doesn’t show face until much later in the game.
To Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, Glamour, Seventeen and all of the other magazines out there telling women how to walk, laugh, dress, style our hair, what make-up to wear and what secrets to never tell our guy, I have this to say: shove it. Sure, I have my issues and quirks and I am definitely one of those women who can never master the latest hairstyle. But I’m smart, funny, generous, caring and above all, genuine. What you see is what you get because I don’t want to be with anyone who won’t accept me for who I am when the make-up comes off and the stage lights go down. And neither should you. The truth of that matter (that the media fails to point out) is that all of their tactics will likely find us with more dates and maybe even a relationship. But with the wrong people. Of course I would love to have someone to snuggle up with on a cool fall night, to cook dinner with and to yell at my TV with on Sunday Funday (I don’t despise football at all, actually!) But I want that someone to be the right person for me. I want to be myself with him and have him want to be with me, not despite my quirks, but because of them. I may be getting older but I’m not quite ready to settle for anything less.
“Cause we are beautiful No matter what they say Words can’t bring us down We are beautiful In every single way Yes words can’t bring us down Don’t you bring me down today.” ~ Christina Aguilera, Beautiful